SINOPSE: God receives a request for help from Fatima because a war between Fidel Castro and JFK is about to start. Worried, God asks his son Jesus to return to Earth and difuse the conflict. Meanwhile, JFK and his counsellor are about to interrogate a captured Fidel Castro’s spy (Varadero). Following a testy Communism versus Capitalism debate, JFK set him free and Varadero returns to Cuba. However, his faith in Fidel Castro is shaken and the spy begins to suspect that he is supporting the wrong side. In Cuba, Fidel Castro faces protests on the streets and realizes that he is about to be overthrown. Suspecting Varadero betrayed him, Fidel imprisons the spy as he previously did with the revolutionary hero Camilo Ochoa[1]. Desperate, he decides to invade JFK’s country as a way to divert people's attention from his own problems. Fidel’s' army invades part of JFK’s country but cannot conveniently convince the inhabitants of the advantages of Marxism. Whilst peasants refuse a land reform, whores prefer free enterprise. Castro is then forced to ask Varadero for advice. Varadero seizes the opportunity accusing him of having betrayed the revolution and responsible for Cuba’s misery. Disturbed and distressed, Fidel isolates himself in unknown territory and following a fall which leaves him amnesiac. He is found by monks who take him to a solitary convent where mad people are ministered by the Church. Once inside he see’s the fools are enslaved, Castro starts a revolution against the friars. The course of events reignites his memory. By this time, Christ has arrived on Earth accompanied by Fatima, who is convinced she can create a miracle to avoid the ultimate battle between JFK and Fidel Castro. Back with his army, Fidel Castro receives a visit from the Devil and makes a pact: he sells his soul in exchange for being remembered as a hero who fought for a better world. In the future, nobody will call him dictator. Finally the two armies meet in battle, but JFK proposes to fight Fidel Castro in a duel to avoid wholesale carnage. Fatima, Christ and Varadero watch the duel behind a bush. After a violent struggle, JFK overthrows Castro with a stone. Then he grabs a knife. But when everyone thought that he had killed him – much like David and Goliath – it transpires that JFK had only cut Castro’s beard. At that moment, miraculously, an eclipse occurs.
’’Comrades, the capitalist oppression is over,’’ the commandant began, holding up a finger in warning before an audience that was desperately trying to find meaning in his words. ’’From today, the people are in charge. There will be no more landowners to exploit you, no financial speculators. All businesses will be nationalized and tax havens closed down.’’ As the speech went on, the crowd grew more and more confused. ’’Maybe it’s not us he’s talking to,’’ they muttered. ’’This reminds me of one of the padre’s sermons.’’ ’’It would’ve been better if the Chinese had invaded us.’’ However, all their doubts evaporated when the speaker moved onto more concrete subjects, things of common interest and general understanding. ’’The land belongs to all of us now.’’ This unexpected declaration struck the ears of all those present, and was followed by a collective murmur that gradually overwhelmed the voice of the commandant, forcing him to speak louder to make himself heard. As the wall of whispers increased in intensity, isolating the orator’s words, he found that his vocal cords were wavering, until eventually, like a flame in a bell jar, his voice was extinguished into silence. This was followed by a few moments of great confusion, a tumult that the soldiers were unable to control with their pushing and threatening. The people then began to put the revolutionary theories into practice by issuing orders. ’’No one touches my pig,’’ shouted one irate farmer, brandishing an imaginary hoe. This ignited the others, who protested heatedly against the proposal for agrarian reform and Castro-inspired collectivization. Surprised at the fanatical response from the people, who were proving more reactionary and bourgeois than welcoming, as the oppressed were supposed to be with their liberators, the Commandant was experiencing the first signs of a tremendous headache. He took a deep breath and replied as sweetly and gently as he could: ’’The pig belongs to the people, comrade.’’ (he was imagining himself savouring slices of cured ham). But as he was getting ready to explain the benefits of abolishing private property and dividing up personal wealth and capital equipment, another man called out rudely, ’’What about the women? Do they belong to the people too?’’ This raised a roar of coarse laughter, as was usual in those parts. Having definitively lost their fear of intervening – which was indeed a revolution – the masses erupted in a chorus of spoken thoughts, revealing their inner most feelings. ’’You can have my wife any time!’’ ’’Let's get down to it then, drop your drawers, Maria!’’ ’’Oh, my poor daughters!’’ Worn-out and bad-tempered given the failure of the debriefing session, the commandant felt like ordering half a dozen men to be shot as an example. He tried to restore order by saying the first thing that came into his head. ’’From now on, pornography is banned.’’ This got him embroiled in an argument with the protesters, who were getting noisier by the minute. ’’But we haven’t got that here yet.’’ ’’An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.’’ ’’Sorry, I’m not sure about something ….’’ ’’What is it?’’ ’’A romp in the hay with the neighbour’s wife, does that count as pornography?’’ ’’Well…not if she’s a comrade, but if she’s a capitalist, than yes, obviously it does.’’